Another CT Scan

I had the pleasure of having another CT scan today. This one was required in order for my radiation team to plan my "boost" treatments, which will begin next Friday. I guess they need to remeasure everything (I'm told things move around and shrink during radiation treatments) and find the area they need to target for the last eight boost treatments. It's really hard for me to believe that I've only got 12 treatments left altogether.

I've learned a lot about all of the different types of scans/x-rays over the past few months. The CT scan machine that I've been in twice is just this narrow tube that you slide in and out of during the scan. If you close your eyes and pretend you're in Disney World, you can almost make yourself believe that you're on a fun space ride or some sort thing. At least, that's what I tried to do today. It wasn't bad.

I'm getting very used to having folks look at my boobs, too. Take today, for instance. Two of the techs set me up for my treatments, and of course, had the pleasure of not only seeing my boobs, but drawing on them and putting tape on them. Then, three more lucky individuals (including the doctor) handled my CT scan set up, and got to make more markings on me. At this point, I'm liable to whip my breast out in the middle of Kroger or something, given the comfort level I now have with being "exposed." No pride anymore. That's long gone, for better or for worse.

Well, on that terrific note, I think that I'll sign off for the weekend. And don't worry; I'm not going to expose myself. I was just kidding.

Erin

A Dream

It was bound to happen, sooner or later, but I had my first radiation-related dream last night. It was weird. I was sitting in a room with a bunch of women who were being treated for breast cancer. They were all in the middle of their radiation treatments, but they all had markings on their head. I started to ask about the markings, and they all looked at me as if I were crazy. They explained that their docs had included a few blasts to the brain as part of their treatment protocol, and began to question why this wasn't included in my plan. I couldn't quite wrap my head around why they would be having brain treatments, but they insisted that I ask my doctor about it. The only problem was that my doctor wasn't around so I sat down with the other radiation oncologist in the practice, Dr. Hunter, and he started drawing pictures of what the radiation field would look like and where it would enter my brain. Dr. Rosenblatt showed up somewhere later in the dream, but I can't exactly remember what happened after the meeting with Dr. Hunter.

I have no doubt that this dream relates to the fact that each day, when I'm in the radiation room, I have to look at the masks that are custom-made for brain cancer patients who are receiving radiation. They sit on a table, staring up at the ceiling, and honestly, they freak me out a little bit. Evidently, when radiation is given to the head or brain, it is absolutely essential that there is no movement, and so these mesh-like masks are created, placed over the patient's head, and bolted to the table. The nurses have mentioned how hard this is for a lot of patients. It would be hard for me, I'm sure. It makes me thankful that all I have to do is lay on the table with my arms up over my head for a few minutes each day.

Dreams are interesting, aren't they? I've never been much of a student of dreams and what they can tell us about ourselves, but I've had a lot of dreams in my day, and it seems abundantly clear to me that they are closely related to our subconscious, and that they reflect our fears, desires and passions.

Have a wonderful day, and sweet dreams!

Erin

Wacky Thoughts....

I think a lot about how fortunate I am to have such a great medical team. As I've shared on this blog, I am especially fond of my surgeon and my radiation oncologist. The other day, I was driving around town looking at all of the silly bumper stickers folks have on their cars, and I thought to myself, "wouldn't it be funny to have a bumper sticker that says: I [heart] my oncologist?" I mean, that would just blow peoples' minds, wouldn't it?

I was sharing this with a friend this morning, and we got a good chuckle (as her husband was laying in a hospital with an ankle that he had just broken that morning as he slipped on the ice taking out the trash -- we needed some levity!) So, I came home and did a google search for custom bumper stickers, and lo and behold, found a site where one, indeed, can design one's own bumper sticker. And so, here is mine. I doubt that these would sell like hotcakes, but it's funny to think about driving around Nashville with this on the back of my minivan!

My, How Time Flies!!!

Well, it's hard to believe, but I only have 14 treatments left! Today was my 19th treatment, which means that I only have 6 more "regular" treatments, and then I'll switch to what they lovingly refer to as the "boost" treatments next Friday. Assuming the center is open on MLK Day (I need to check on this), and that I'm able to make all of the remaining 14 appointments as scheduled, I should finish my treatment on Tuesday, February 1st. I dare say that my husband would be wise to plan something very special for that evening!!!!

I also am pleased to report that I continue to have very few, if any, side effects. I have a little of the "sunburned" look, and some accompanying, but mild, itching. Other than that, though, I feel perfectly fine. I'm determined to get through this experience unscathed and with as few side effects as possible.

Like 48 other states in the country, we've had snow here in Tennessee this week, which means that the kids have been home from school. Our school district is notorious for cancelling school if there is even a possiblity of snow, and so given the fact that we got a whopping two inches on Monday and that the temps have still been very low here, I guess it's not surprising that there's been no school so far this week. This, of course, has made getting to my appointments a little trickier, but with the help of Eli and a few dedicated babysitters, we've made it work. As they say, it takes a village.

Here's hoping everyone is staying warm and enjoying a cold, but beautiful, January.

Erin

Almost Half Way!

16 down, 17 to go. The next time I blog, I'll be over the proverbial hump. As I was laying on the table this morning, I was thinking about yesterday's post, and realized that I like everything about going for my treatments, except for the treatments themselves. I still haven't resigned myself to the fact that I'm being pumped full of something that is pretty toxic. Yuck.

For any ladies out there who may be facing the same experience, let me say that the treatments are totally painless, and that if you follow the advice given regarding caring for your skin, you should be fine. I've had 16 treatments, and have had no burning or cracking or other skin problems, so far, at least. If you were to see my chest (a scary thought, I'm sure) you would probably agree that it looks like I've been under the tanning bed with one side covered and the other side exposed. I have no idea what the next few weeks will bring in terms of my skin, but I'm told that the changes are not permanent, and that the discoloration should fade over time.

Okay, well, it's Friday, which means (a) no radiation for two days; (b) no waking up early for two days; and (c) no homework for three nights!!! Yeah!

Have a great weekend.

Erin

So, I don't know if it's the radiation getting to me, or if I've otherwise just lost my mind, but it struck me this morning that I kind of like going to my radiation treatments every day. Weird, I know, but I have the best oncologist in the world, and the group of folks who set up and carry out my treatments every day are actually kind of fun to hang out with. The nurses, whom I get to see every Wednesday, are totally amazing, too (Mary and Nancy -- you guys rock!). I've also started to get to know some of the other patients, and I really like hearing their stories and trying to support one another.

As of today, I've got 15 treatments under my belt, and only 18 to go. As I understand the protocol, I'll do 10 more "full breast" treatments, and then the last eight treatments will be targeted at the spot in my breast that was harboring the "bad cells." In theory, I shouldn't have any rogue cancer cells in my body, but just in case, this treatment is designed to search and destroy any little cells that might have escaped Dr. Ballinger and her knife.

In any event, by my calculations, I should be done with the treatments the first week of February. I actually had the thought today that I might be sad when those early morning visits to St. Thomas are no longer part of my daily schedule. Crazy, I know.
I'm guessing that by then, I'll be totally done with all of this, and more than ready to move on, but for now, I'm glad that I'm able to enjoy the experience. Gosh, I'm weird.

Have a great day.

Erin

Warning, Your Cell Phone May Be Hazardous To Your Health Gear + Gadgets: GQ.com

I came across this article this morning while doing some research on taking vitamins and supplements during radiation therapy (I know, it's not really related, but someone had mentioned the article in their blog post regarding other things). It's disconcerting, to say the least, but worth a read and some thought, in my view. Not to be a conspiracy theorist, but when you, yourself, have had cancer, I've found that you pay more attention to these kinds of things and ideas. Just though I'd share....

Warning, Your Cell Phone May Be Hazardous To Your Health Gear + Gadgets: GQ.com